Postseason-Preseason Poll
1. Florida: Normally I put the defending champs as a courtesy. This year, I put them because they probably won’t lose at all AND as a courtesy. And because I don’t want to go to hell. I want to do shots with St. Peter and Tim Tebow @ the Gates.
2. Virginia Tech: Like I said, this is where I think they’ll END, so shut your hole and deal with it. If you strip down your bias, you see a returning ACC champ with a tough enough schedule to lose one and still get in. Don’t read this next part unless your name is Alyssa Milano: if you strip down your clothes, I’ll take you to Applebee’s.
3. Texas: Mack Brown’s like light beer. Technically, since you call it beer, it is...and for all intensive purposes, it will get the job done, but something else would always do the same thing better…
4: Oklahoma: Remember the last time Oklahoma returned a Heisman winner? For the sake of my sanity, someone beat them before the NC game. I don’t anticipate it being the mindscrew that seemed to be figuring out Jason White. Hi Bill Snyder!!!
5. Southern Cal: After losing 45 starters and one QB that likes to pretend he was born in Mexico, SC might have trouble in Columbus, which would incite the scourge and fury of everyone if Ohio State actually wins a game over a decent team. Other than that, Oregon State’s at home, so it’s an off year for them going all Tom Arnold and letting the beaver order them around.
6. Penn State: This might be a little high for the Nits, but I’m known on occasion to live the high life. At 12 bucks for a Dirty 30, you should too.
7. Boise State: I just want to point this out to you. Boise State will NOT lose this year. At least going into a bowl game. You know, like last year. Unlike last year, they’re in line for the free BCS Bowl game pass now available for mid majors. I’m sure someone somewhere is real excited about South Florida-Boise State, but it sure as hell ain’t me.
8. Alabama: Much like losing your girlfriend who looks wise was about a 7 outta 10...who cooks, on the forefront, losing John Parker Wilson doesn’t look like much, but when you wake up in the morning and suddenly YOU hafta cook breakfast and "handle" yourself, you start to miss the old battle axe.
9. Oklahoma State: Seems like it’s been about 12 years now that we keep waiting for Okie State to make the leap from "oh hell, THEY won?" to "oh yeah, of course Okie State won." The Cowboys are like losing your virginity. You keep waiting for it to happen, knowing eventually it will, but damn, what’s it gonna take? Dez Bryant is the football equivilent of roofies…
10. South Florida: I’m at a loss on USF. I could see them shockingly in the top 10, I could see them below 1st in the Big East, which will give everyone in the free world the opportunity to not care about them. Jim Leavitt reminds me of Kirk Ferentz. Another guy with a shat ton of hype that I keep waiting to prove what it is I should be apparently excited about.
11. LSU: Speaking of Okie State, their old coach is back to his old tricks. Leslie is taking heat for 5 losses last year, but generally when teams win a title they take a step back. Shut up, Florida fans. We know, it doesn't apply to YOU. Waiting for LSU to collapse is like hoping your wife calls you one night and says "bring that hot young secretary home and all three of us will go at it." In other words, don’t hold your breath.
12. Texas Christian: Real interesting game against Clemson in the OOC season. Seems like 9 times outta 10, the only thing we know about TCU all season is that they can’t beat Oklahoma. Oklahoma ain’t Clemson like I ain’t Kobe Bryant. I have fewer kids. That’s the ONLY difference. I swear.
13. California: Well, it’s Summer again, which means it’s time for me to grossly overrate Cal. Like a really shitty serial killer, @ least I’m consistent.
14. Ohio State: OSU is turning into Van Halen after Eddie. You know you’ll get some so-so crap from them, but you wonder if it’d be different if someone else was running the ship. On a side note, do they have anymore annoying white receivers to throw at us all?
15. Oregon: I don’t know about Oregon. I really don’t. I had a friend named Chip when I was in college, and I think that might have some reason why. Chip didn’t have any teeth. Oregon’s coach’s name is Chip. Oh, and Chip sounds like a male stripper @ Troy Smith’s Unicorn Club.
16. Iowa: I was tempted to put the Idiots Out Wandering Around higher than OSU, but I keep going back to the Kirk Ferentz weatherman theory. Pay for underachievement, and everyone seems copacetic with it. F spellcheck.
17. North Carolina: The Hillary Duff of football. I’ve been telling people for awhile that they’re hot and you need to get on top, but at this point I’m tired of waiting for something amazing. Like whatever the football equivelent of naked pictures would be.
18. Kansas: When I was younger, I went to this no cover strip joint called "Club Zeus." We knew going in it was probably filled with homely broads, but we went anyways. Club Zeus reminds me of the Big 12 North. In spite of it’s ugliness, it will happen, and @ the end of the season, you’ll be forced to watch one of them play.
19. Florida State: Remind me of the first hoe I dated. She cheated on a weekly basis. And then got all cranky and wanted you to take it back the mean things you’d say when you called her on it.
20. Utah: The Utes bother me. Not because I’ve run out of wives jokes to make about people from Utah, just because their conference commish seems to want me to believe that they’re a yearly commodity. Much like the actual Commish (that fat detective guy that looked like a cack with ears) I’m not watching. Yet.
21. Ole Miss: If I may get serious for a moment, I love you. No, I’m kidding. Seriously though, being a surprise team one year is much easier to attain than sustained success. The 2nd year for this program will be the hardest. You know, when people are saying "oh, Ole Miss…we hafta actually watch film on them this year."
22. Cincinnati: They lose a lot on D, but there are few coaches I respect more than Brian Kelly. Much like the fast dwindling case of MGD I’m sifting through, I need more BK and so do you. I just realized that rhymed. Eat me, Bob Frost.
23. Georgia Tech: Remember when Nebraska fired Solich saying that his style wouldn’t work in major college football anymore? Frank and I will drink to THAT. Only he’ll try driving home and I’ll fruitlessly try to make futile advances on my girlfriend.
24. Oregon State: Bring your trimmers. This ain’t 1995. These beavers are a hairy out every time you meet up with them. Gawd, that was horrendously gross.
25. Michigan: Like I say in all my preseason polls, I reserve the right to completely toss away the #25 pick either for my own amusement or for my in-denial homer thoughts. I think Michigan wins 7 this year, which means they’ll win either 9 or 4. If it’s 4, I swear, I’ll skin Chuck E. Cheese. In front of 40 underprivileged kids. With a spoon.
**Though to you, some may seem squirrely, I can explain them all. Just ask. And not in French. I hate that jazz.**
For more Teddy, unedited and somewhat fresher than a routine one night stand, visit thebestdamnpoll.com. Thanks!
Category: NCAAF
Tags: Preseason Poll
Donte Stallworth-less Fans
I've been waiting oh...about a week now for some, any journalist worth his salt to write an article like this. Alas, it hasn't happened. Certainly not on THIS site. Pete Prisco is swamped with trying to come up with new ways to continue gargling the Manning family. So, like my mom always said, if you want something done right...or done at all, you may as well just do it yourself. Obviously, she was right. Other than THAT. For THAT, a lady is necessary to have it done more right than it would by yourself.
Or maybe I shouldn't be surprised, since this is where society has come. As we all know by now, Donte Stallworth got 30 days in jail. For murdering a guy. In a car. While DRUNK. Some people get 30 days for the DUI alone. Most people get 30 YEARS for murdering someone. People in the wrong states get gassed, injected, or forced into shower room love for eternity for doing both. For Stallworth though, paying a few mil and doing some fake community service that some intern from the Browns will sign off on tomorrow apparently does the trick. And he's going to JAIL. Not even PRISON. I feel like I can count on one hand the number of guys that have pled guilty to murder and gone simply to jail.
Why does this bother me so much? Because no one is up in arms about this, yet the fury and hate for Mike Vick will be eternal. Vick killed dogs. Stallworth killed someone's husband. Someone's father. A person. And yet we're Jim Dandy with him getting a suspension from Roger Goodell and being let back in whenever ole Rog (thank you for suspending him) lets him back into the fold. After all, it was "just" a person. Not an animal. That'd be banning-for-life type reprehensible, right America?
What makes it worse is the loot involved. The "undisclosed" amount. I asked my girlfriend that night, "if someone DUI'd me into hell, what price would you put on my life to let him get out of hard time, scot free?" She answered "nothing. I'd make the bastard fight against the death penalty." How quaint of it to just accept some cash from Stallworth so you might not hafta work for the rest of your life at the expense of a relative's existence. If someone did that to me, I'd haunt them for all eternity. Give Donte's lawyer credit. He was being inventive with this one. The family probably lacked easy funds, so why not buy their forgiveness? And toss in 30 days "time".
There's so much wrong with this story, it's disgusting. The money is rediculous. We all know "everyone has a price" but to see it brazenly tagged by family members makes me cringe. This is worse than "I'll give you 15 large to cap Bob over there." "Bob" is probably your enemy. Not a senseless victim.
And then there's the whole double standard apparently we have going on. Spare me the "ignorant animal victim" comments. This poor victim was walking across the street where Stallworth was barrelling down in some expensive foreign car he probably can't change the oil on if you put a gun to his head. There isn't a more innocent victim than this guy. But for PC America, where it's become okay to marry anyone, anything, or do anything, anyone, it's more reprehensible to be Mike Vick than Donte Stallworth. To be a man who paid his debts for wrongdoing, but still hasn't done enough, somehow. As opposed to will never, ever pay his debt (in the metaphorical meaning, at least) for the crime(s) he committed, yet will never be met with the same animosity as Vick. It wasn't long ago that Rae Carruth was sentenced for taking part in the murder of his unborn child and his/her carrier. Carruth still sits behind bars, like those before and after him who've done the same thing would do.
Vick will fight to get back in the NFL. He'll fight to be accepted among teammates. He'll fight to turn away the jeers, the ill conceived insulting signs from fans. The chants. The stiff public penalties he'll live with til he retires into anonymnity. Stallworth on the other hand will never face what Vick already has. For killing a person. Society gets more unbearable every day. I was wrong earlier on the "ignorant animal" comment. I was referring to dogs. I should have been referring to humans.
Or maybe I shouldn't be surprised, since this is where society has come. As we all know by now, Donte Stallworth got 30 days in jail. For murdering a guy. In a car. While DRUNK. Some people get 30 days for the DUI alone. Most people get 30 YEARS for murdering someone. People in the wrong states get gassed, injected, or forced into shower room love for eternity for doing both. For Stallworth though, paying a few mil and doing some fake community service that some intern from the Browns will sign off on tomorrow apparently does the trick. And he's going to JAIL. Not even PRISON. I feel like I can count on one hand the number of guys that have pled guilty to murder and gone simply to jail.
Why does this bother me so much? Because no one is up in arms about this, yet the fury and hate for Mike Vick will be eternal. Vick killed dogs. Stallworth killed someone's husband. Someone's father. A person. And yet we're Jim Dandy with him getting a suspension from Roger Goodell and being let back in whenever ole Rog (thank you for suspending him) lets him back into the fold. After all, it was "just" a person. Not an animal. That'd be banning-for-life type reprehensible, right America?
What makes it worse is the loot involved. The "undisclosed" amount. I asked my girlfriend that night, "if someone DUI'd me into hell, what price would you put on my life to let him get out of hard time, scot free?" She answered "nothing. I'd make the bastard fight against the death penalty." How quaint of it to just accept some cash from Stallworth so you might not hafta work for the rest of your life at the expense of a relative's existence. If someone did that to me, I'd haunt them for all eternity. Give Donte's lawyer credit. He was being inventive with this one. The family probably lacked easy funds, so why not buy their forgiveness? And toss in 30 days "time".
There's so much wrong with this story, it's disgusting. The money is rediculous. We all know "everyone has a price" but to see it brazenly tagged by family members makes me cringe. This is worse than "I'll give you 15 large to cap Bob over there." "Bob" is probably your enemy. Not a senseless victim.
And then there's the whole double standard apparently we have going on. Spare me the "ignorant animal victim" comments. This poor victim was walking across the street where Stallworth was barrelling down in some expensive foreign car he probably can't change the oil on if you put a gun to his head. There isn't a more innocent victim than this guy. But for PC America, where it's become okay to marry anyone, anything, or do anything, anyone, it's more reprehensible to be Mike Vick than Donte Stallworth. To be a man who paid his debts for wrongdoing, but still hasn't done enough, somehow. As opposed to will never, ever pay his debt (in the metaphorical meaning, at least) for the crime(s) he committed, yet will never be met with the same animosity as Vick. It wasn't long ago that Rae Carruth was sentenced for taking part in the murder of his unborn child and his/her carrier. Carruth still sits behind bars, like those before and after him who've done the same thing would do.
Vick will fight to get back in the NFL. He'll fight to be accepted among teammates. He'll fight to turn away the jeers, the ill conceived insulting signs from fans. The chants. The stiff public penalties he'll live with til he retires into anonymnity. Stallworth on the other hand will never face what Vick already has. For killing a person. Society gets more unbearable every day. I was wrong earlier on the "ignorant animal" comment. I was referring to dogs. I should have been referring to humans.
Category: NFL
Life from the Penalty Box
Pardon this lurid tone, this game just made me relapse on wanting to kick small animals in the face with a golf shoe. As a disclaimer, if this is typed poorly it's because I headed for the Mountains...
People ask me why I love sports. Why I obsess over it. Why I would trade any amount of money, any comfort of life, and probably a few family members...for a title for some of my teams. There are a lot of reasons, but one came to light tonight during Game 7. I remember this last season, a kid I coached talking about how something in particular wasn't fair. Watching the Stanley Cup change hands tonight made me remember that conversation. One of the reasons I love sports is that it's a metaphor for life, which I told him.
Sports forces us to see what most of us are too wimpy to admit. Bad guys win. Class is something people who don't win hold onto because they hope, pray, and imagine that there's some grand plan later on in life where everyone that lacked class gets hit in the nuts with a 9 iron, so to speak. They say cute things like "have faith" because it's a lot easier than admitting the truth. The guys that take cheap shots with sticks get rewarded. The guys that shrug it off and don't even pick a fight go home empty handed. The young, the brash, and the arrogant triumph over the old, the gamely, and the humbled.
Let's not act like the Penguins didn't deserve it. Congrats to them. "It is what it is", to quoth the "great" Todd Bertuzzi. Down 3-2 after being humiliated despite their rampant thuggery, they won 2 straight games against a team that hasn't lost 2 straight games seemingly since 1999. They won with better goaltending, more savvy puck handling, fewer turnovers, and better composure. It wasn't something fanatical like youth or toughness. Hell, it was the Pens, not the Wings bending over praying the clock would move faster for most of Game 7. So that's my paragraph congratting the Penguins. Though Pittsburgh is awash in title right now, apparently the rich get richer. Again, a metaphor for life.
Nice guys finish last. Or at best, second. Which is worse than last. Though I've been on the right side of the coin enough times to know it's the truth, the guy that's rotten to the girl has her coming over on Friday nights. The guy that's nice? He's twiddling his...uh...thumbs...hoping she's watching movies with friends. The Wings were in the corner, twiddling it tonight. All season, all playoffs, all Stanley Cup they looked the other way when the young punks of the league (hi, Ryan Getzlaf!) tried to play the old tired "Gotta stick it to them" line. As if they're the first players...in their mid 20s no less...to figure out that checking and rough play can be done.
The Pens were only different in that they won. Not because they had no class, not because not once could they give the Wings a shred of credit. And they're let off the hook from ever doing so. That's life. That's sports. Your metaphor. Giving credit is for wimps. Admonishing your opponent for losers. Playing it the right way, winning the right way, is for the naive who haven't realized the old adage..."if you don't cheat, you only cheat yourself." My mother grew me up under the phrase "cheaters never prosper." Sorry mom, you were wrong. They not only prosper, they turn around and laugh in your face after they do it. On your ice. In front of your family and friends. 20,000 of them.
There's a joking-ish type phrase around Detroit. Comes every time the Lions, Tigers, or Pistons take their field of play. Comes again after halftime. Goes something like "when's hockey season start again? We've always got that." Tonight, we don't. Second place is an accomplishment for people who lack goals and ambition. Tonight, Detroit's silent. Pittsburgh has another title, albeit well earned of sorts. The NHL's Lebron has popped his championship cherry. Within the week, the glitzy Lakers, their scowels, their arrogance, will win more rings. Again, the bad guys, the ones that don't do it the right way...will reap the benefits. That's life. That's sports. "When's hockey season start again?" Who cares. Matt Stafford, I hope you're a real jerk....
*Have you been missing "The Rant?" Is life online a tad more meaningless because of it? You have two options. Grab some lotion and a towel at work, or let me know, and I'll tell you where to find it...*
People ask me why I love sports. Why I obsess over it. Why I would trade any amount of money, any comfort of life, and probably a few family members...for a title for some of my teams. There are a lot of reasons, but one came to light tonight during Game 7. I remember this last season, a kid I coached talking about how something in particular wasn't fair. Watching the Stanley Cup change hands tonight made me remember that conversation. One of the reasons I love sports is that it's a metaphor for life, which I told him.
Sports forces us to see what most of us are too wimpy to admit. Bad guys win. Class is something people who don't win hold onto because they hope, pray, and imagine that there's some grand plan later on in life where everyone that lacked class gets hit in the nuts with a 9 iron, so to speak. They say cute things like "have faith" because it's a lot easier than admitting the truth. The guys that take cheap shots with sticks get rewarded. The guys that shrug it off and don't even pick a fight go home empty handed. The young, the brash, and the arrogant triumph over the old, the gamely, and the humbled.
Let's not act like the Penguins didn't deserve it. Congrats to them. "It is what it is", to quoth the "great" Todd Bertuzzi. Down 3-2 after being humiliated despite their rampant thuggery, they won 2 straight games against a team that hasn't lost 2 straight games seemingly since 1999. They won with better goaltending, more savvy puck handling, fewer turnovers, and better composure. It wasn't something fanatical like youth or toughness. Hell, it was the Pens, not the Wings bending over praying the clock would move faster for most of Game 7. So that's my paragraph congratting the Penguins. Though Pittsburgh is awash in title right now, apparently the rich get richer. Again, a metaphor for life.
Nice guys finish last. Or at best, second. Which is worse than last. Though I've been on the right side of the coin enough times to know it's the truth, the guy that's rotten to the girl has her coming over on Friday nights. The guy that's nice? He's twiddling his...uh...thumbs...hoping she's watching movies with friends. The Wings were in the corner, twiddling it tonight. All season, all playoffs, all Stanley Cup they looked the other way when the young punks of the league (hi, Ryan Getzlaf!) tried to play the old tired "Gotta stick it to them" line. As if they're the first players...in their mid 20s no less...to figure out that checking and rough play can be done.
The Pens were only different in that they won. Not because they had no class, not because not once could they give the Wings a shred of credit. And they're let off the hook from ever doing so. That's life. That's sports. Your metaphor. Giving credit is for wimps. Admonishing your opponent for losers. Playing it the right way, winning the right way, is for the naive who haven't realized the old adage..."if you don't cheat, you only cheat yourself." My mother grew me up under the phrase "cheaters never prosper." Sorry mom, you were wrong. They not only prosper, they turn around and laugh in your face after they do it. On your ice. In front of your family and friends. 20,000 of them.
There's a joking-ish type phrase around Detroit. Comes every time the Lions, Tigers, or Pistons take their field of play. Comes again after halftime. Goes something like "when's hockey season start again? We've always got that." Tonight, we don't. Second place is an accomplishment for people who lack goals and ambition. Tonight, Detroit's silent. Pittsburgh has another title, albeit well earned of sorts. The NHL's Lebron has popped his championship cherry. Within the week, the glitzy Lakers, their scowels, their arrogance, will win more rings. Again, the bad guys, the ones that don't do it the right way...will reap the benefits. That's life. That's sports. "When's hockey season start again?" Who cares. Matt Stafford, I hope you're a real jerk....
*Have you been missing "The Rant?" Is life online a tad more meaningless because of it? You have two options. Grab some lotion and a towel at work, or let me know, and I'll tell you where to find it...*
Hossa woulda been there anyway
What a wierd twist of fate for Marian Hossa. Hossa being the guy that was the most non-content player in the history of sport to simply play for a title. He being the guy who last summer decided that he'd leave cash on the table...a lot of it...and years on the table...a lot more than one of them...to come to Detroit to win a Cup. Not get there. But win it.
His decision in and of itself was a little odd when it happened. I mean, he was fresh off of a miraculous run with a coming of age way sooner than Hannah Montana type team that pushed Detroit to 6 games in the Stanley Cup finals. Yet Hossa didn't want to dance with the possibility of being 2nd best again. He jumped ship to the team that ended his season...for one year...with obvious designs on getting his hands on the cup. I mean, generally free agents flock to the runner UP teams and say "I'm coming here because this team's close to a championship and I need to be a part of one of those." Give Hossa credit. He must've thought the Wings were that much further ahead.
Now though, Hossa has to be scratching his head. He plays tonight, mostly because in a 7 game series it doesn't end until one team wins 4 games. Had he been in Pittsburgh, he'd have played last night and would already have his increasingly ugly "conference champs" hat on. Seriously, who's the Project Runway reject who thought that hat was a good idea?
The team Hossa left because they weren't quite good enough is the team waiting on Hossa to possibly get to the level THEY are at now. Talk about irony. Though you probably haven't noticed because apparently some cable companies require you to pay for Versus...which should be against the frigging law...only because Versus is that great....hockey is in the middle of something epic. The NBA wishes this could happen to them. Their "guy to re-save the league", the answer to Gretzky...or in NBA terms, the answer to Jordan...has been as good as advertised. Sid Crosby has his young sidekick (Malkin) to make sure he nor his team will be going anywhere for the next 10 years, minimum. And he's that rare athlete who's lived up to every inch of his billing. While the NBA (which I love more than most people should) keeps throwing Kobe vs Lebron down our throats despite the fact that both might not make it...and the younger one that they are desperate to see wearing a ring is almost assured of not being there...Crosby is making his second trip in two years.
To make it even better, he's doing it (probably) against the most hyped, watched, and popular team in the league. A modern day dynasty of sorts, with possibly 5 Cups in 12 years. Like Jordan had to get thru another Detroit team...Crosby will eventually hafta get thru these Wings.
So though after the Hawks get dusted off either tonight or sometime later this week, Hossa will have the ultimate chance to look like some sort of forecasting savant. He came to the Wings for one reason, for one season. His contract wasn't gonna sell jersies to Detroit fans who figure that he's just along for the ride and they'd be there in the end anyways, with or without him. It wasn't an admittance akin to those shameless baseball players who say "I've always wanted to be a Yankee since I was a little kid" ironically just as NY ponies up 2 million more than the previous team. It was him saying "I want to win a cup, not get there, not play for 6 games, but win one. And Detroit is that much farther ahead in such a quest than anyone else." It's time for Hossa to make good on that assumption. I'd love to ask him whether or not he'd be with the Wings if he knew the Pens would be back in the same position sooner. Or if he'd still be in Detroit. Look alive, Marian. The next two weeks will prove which of these two teams you'll be "back with" next year, If Crosby is Lebron, Hossa is looking like Karl Malone at this point. Let's hope it turns out better for Marian than it did for the Mailman. Mail sucks anyways.
Category: NHL
Tags: Marian Hossa
Big Baby meets Big Biatch
-Went and saw New Found Glory last week. If you're capable of still enjoying fast paced music, I suggest you do the same. Incredible show. More incredible than losing my virginity. And a much, much longer set.
On Big Baby...
-How sissy of a society have we become? Assuming for even two seconds that this kid's dad was being serious. Asking for an apology? The homeless guy playing the sax outside of the game should demand an apology from that guy's ass for paying 5 grand for courtside seats for his dumb kid instead of doing something of substance with the money.
-Glen Davis...he of the 2nd round non-guaranteed contract, he of the "too fat to play in the NBA", he of the lesser known LA high school hoops tandem growing up (Tyrus Thomas being the other), he of the "replacing Kevin freaking Garnett...somehow..." hits a last 2nd shot to basically save the Celts season and this guy's crying b/c his kid's white Fox racing (or some other lame, trendy crap) hat hit the ground wants him to say sorry?
-I enjoyed the grossly overrated commentary by the guy. Calling Davis an "animal" for knocking over his kid. The little fat turd's hat fell off. Boo hoo. I'm embarassed just being someone who lives in the same hemisphere as that guy.
-What should Davis do? Get the guy's name, head to CVS, and send him a box of Kleenex, Playtex, and Summer's Eve.
-Be more desperate for your 15 minutes, lame Orlando fans. In spite of Stephon Marbury existing, I immediately must pull for the Celts now. Especially since it won't matter b/c the Cavs wait.
On Mark Cuban...
-When Cubes started out, I liked him. He was probably good for moribund Dallass. He was probably good for a moribund league needing younger blood. Let's face it, owners are boring rich people that are normally impossible to identify with. Cuban was different. He was cool. Now..he's not. Seriously, apologize for being an asshat to Kenyon Martin and his mother, of all people. Cuban did the same thing we all do as drunk fans, get pissy because we've had a few too many and our team lost on a bad call. I've sat courtside a few times, and I've sat lower level around various players' family and friends 100 times. Never once was I compelled to lob a personal attack at a family member, even in the height of my drunken stupor. Cuban, congrats, you are truly a moron with no class.
-So here's to Dallas never winning a title, with their franchise player devoid of even 15 minutes of actual defense, their pot smoking, braces wearing apathetic small forward, their Tyronn Lue-ish guard, and their wife beating vet.
-Cuban shows what's wrong with our culture right now though. Just because someone has money doesn't mean they deserve even 4 seconds of air time or 3 seconds of getting their opinion out. But since they have money, they have the option of doing that. And since we own TVs, we have no option but to be exposed to it. Sickening. Welfare sucks. So do rich people like Cuban.
-In passing, Kenyon Martin is no choir boy, but I've seen a lotta Martin blowups...and I've never seen him go all Ike Turner on a camera man, degrade someone's mom, or walk in circles around a basketball court as if desperate for someone to cry to and unwilling to leave until the entire hissy fit is caught for all to see.
-Wait, didn't Kenny Rogers shove a camera man a few years ago only to get blasted for it for the next 3 seasons? And Cuban gets off scot free? Good thing he didn't lay hands on that Orlando fan's kid...
-Anyone see that Vitamin water commercial with Kobe and LeBron? Tell me it's not rigged to get those two teams to the finals... The least Sleazy Stern coulda done is wait til June to have that commercial run. Somewhere Tim Donaghey is wondering how he got caught...and how I could not care enough to look up how to spell his name.
-Lastly on the NBA, so glad to see Chauncey Billups in the throes of a title chase again. Detroit did him wrong, choice or no choice. He was the wrong guy to move. 10 more mediocre years of Detroit hoops culminating with them flatlining next year on the big free agent class will prove this.
-I'm tired of all the gimmicks with beer. First, only Coors Light drinkers need a frigging color change in the can to let them know if it's cold enough to drink. Then there's the "widemouth can" for people that just can't get the alkie in their system enough...yet absentmindedly choose to drink LIGHT BEER to get drunk...and now the Miller Light rebuttal of the gold top to relieve the metallic taste. Because people apparently told them what we all know, that light beer sucks, and Miller's only plan of action was apparently to convince them that it had to do purely with the can and not the crappy, watered down product. They should be sued for having Reggie's last name on their can.
-Is it college football season yet? I move for a proposal that has football starting right after the NBA and NHL playoffs end.
-Speaking of hockey, the playoffs have been great. That too has trumped losing my virginity, and virtually every bedroom episode since. Hockey is by far the thing in your life you're missing that you need in it. The Beatles used to say "all you need is love" but they really meant "all you need is to watch the NHL playoffs". Has a nice ring to it.
-Green Day has a new, another whiny liberals crying for 50 minutes with bad guitar playing in the backgroundish album out? What'd I do to deserve this? Kill and eat all sea lions in front of 5 year old children?
-I like how Obama is funny, I really do. I just wish he'd focus on not making people's lives suck while he's in the Oval Office writing one liners. Hell, at least Bill used the O to his advantage.
-Vitamin water, in spite of their prophetic commercials, by the way, is awesome...while anything made by Sobe sucks.
-I've supported Kobe for plenty of years, but I've grown tired of his prissy act. And NBA officals need to get their story straight. When Kobe reminds Shane Battier (as if he cares) that he can't be guarded in the 1st, it's no big deal. When he does it in the 4th of a blowout, it's a tech. Kobe sucks, and the refs do too.
-Rich Rodriguez makes me ill. Offering scholarships to players only CUSA cares about and then telling kids when they commit to "think it over" as if "getting an offer to a school you have no business playing at and getting a degree at a school you probably have no business graduating from" isn't thinking it over is just bush league. He isn't selling snake oil, he's selling lonely men fat women and telling them they're super models.
-I'm really glad everyone hates Tennessee now, so I don't feel so alone anymore and what not.
-Baseball sucks. And so do steroids. What is a big contract really worth? A few more home runs and a few fewer inches off the ole member? I'd rather not have the home runs. No wonder A-(short) Rods wife doesn't want him anymore.
-Colin Cowherd brought up a good point this week about Manny. Maybe we'd have suspected something had he not spent the last 10 years wearing bedsheets to press conferences, home plate, and every appearance he might be seen in public.
-I think I've figured out why people like reality TV. Television sucks so bad now, we realize that it's more fun just watching no talent jack asses making fools of themselves on TV, like we all do when we're drunk at the bar. I get a kick out of a Friday night at the local dive a lot more than watching something atrocious that Tom Cruise is involved in.
-IHop lies on their menus. They say the chocolate pancakes are made with chocolate batter, which is completely untrue. I should sue for false advertising. All I'd want is free pancakes until I pass on to the great beyond where Lloyd Carr is the coach of my football team again.
-Tiger Woods looks like his ship may have sailed. I never, ever, ever ponder calling out Woodsy, but he's been doing his old tricks routinely...up until Sundays on the back 9. That used to be his lethal time. He made a giant rally at the Masters, 1 shot back heading to 11, and then flamed out like that one guy from N'Sync. Then he's in the final group with some guy who I'm pretty sure was one of the main characters in "Perfect Strangers" and is a complete nonfactor. Yeah, something's wrong.
-Speaking of golf, is David Duval still alive? If so, I need some extra money to pay the rent...$50 skins, Dave?
This rant has been brought to you by Spam. Because if it's pink and it stinks, it may as well be dinner.
On Big Baby...
-How sissy of a society have we become? Assuming for even two seconds that this kid's dad was being serious. Asking for an apology? The homeless guy playing the sax outside of the game should demand an apology from that guy's ass for paying 5 grand for courtside seats for his dumb kid instead of doing something of substance with the money.
-Glen Davis...he of the 2nd round non-guaranteed contract, he of the "too fat to play in the NBA", he of the lesser known LA high school hoops tandem growing up (Tyrus Thomas being the other), he of the "replacing Kevin freaking Garnett...somehow..." hits a last 2nd shot to basically save the Celts season and this guy's crying b/c his kid's white Fox racing (or some other lame, trendy crap) hat hit the ground wants him to say sorry?
-I enjoyed the grossly overrated commentary by the guy. Calling Davis an "animal" for knocking over his kid. The little fat turd's hat fell off. Boo hoo. I'm embarassed just being someone who lives in the same hemisphere as that guy.
-What should Davis do? Get the guy's name, head to CVS, and send him a box of Kleenex, Playtex, and Summer's Eve.
-Be more desperate for your 15 minutes, lame Orlando fans. In spite of Stephon Marbury existing, I immediately must pull for the Celts now. Especially since it won't matter b/c the Cavs wait.
On Mark Cuban...
-When Cubes started out, I liked him. He was probably good for moribund Dallass. He was probably good for a moribund league needing younger blood. Let's face it, owners are boring rich people that are normally impossible to identify with. Cuban was different. He was cool. Now..he's not. Seriously, apologize for being an asshat to Kenyon Martin and his mother, of all people. Cuban did the same thing we all do as drunk fans, get pissy because we've had a few too many and our team lost on a bad call. I've sat courtside a few times, and I've sat lower level around various players' family and friends 100 times. Never once was I compelled to lob a personal attack at a family member, even in the height of my drunken stupor. Cuban, congrats, you are truly a moron with no class.
-So here's to Dallas never winning a title, with their franchise player devoid of even 15 minutes of actual defense, their pot smoking, braces wearing apathetic small forward, their Tyronn Lue-ish guard, and their wife beating vet.
-Cuban shows what's wrong with our culture right now though. Just because someone has money doesn't mean they deserve even 4 seconds of air time or 3 seconds of getting their opinion out. But since they have money, they have the option of doing that. And since we own TVs, we have no option but to be exposed to it. Sickening. Welfare sucks. So do rich people like Cuban.
-In passing, Kenyon Martin is no choir boy, but I've seen a lotta Martin blowups...and I've never seen him go all Ike Turner on a camera man, degrade someone's mom, or walk in circles around a basketball court as if desperate for someone to cry to and unwilling to leave until the entire hissy fit is caught for all to see.
-Wait, didn't Kenny Rogers shove a camera man a few years ago only to get blasted for it for the next 3 seasons? And Cuban gets off scot free? Good thing he didn't lay hands on that Orlando fan's kid...
-Anyone see that Vitamin water commercial with Kobe and LeBron? Tell me it's not rigged to get those two teams to the finals... The least Sleazy Stern coulda done is wait til June to have that commercial run. Somewhere Tim Donaghey is wondering how he got caught...and how I could not care enough to look up how to spell his name.
-Lastly on the NBA, so glad to see Chauncey Billups in the throes of a title chase again. Detroit did him wrong, choice or no choice. He was the wrong guy to move. 10 more mediocre years of Detroit hoops culminating with them flatlining next year on the big free agent class will prove this.
-I'm tired of all the gimmicks with beer. First, only Coors Light drinkers need a frigging color change in the can to let them know if it's cold enough to drink. Then there's the "widemouth can" for people that just can't get the alkie in their system enough...yet absentmindedly choose to drink LIGHT BEER to get drunk...and now the Miller Light rebuttal of the gold top to relieve the metallic taste. Because people apparently told them what we all know, that light beer sucks, and Miller's only plan of action was apparently to convince them that it had to do purely with the can and not the crappy, watered down product. They should be sued for having Reggie's last name on their can.
-Is it college football season yet? I move for a proposal that has football starting right after the NBA and NHL playoffs end.
-Speaking of hockey, the playoffs have been great. That too has trumped losing my virginity, and virtually every bedroom episode since. Hockey is by far the thing in your life you're missing that you need in it. The Beatles used to say "all you need is love" but they really meant "all you need is to watch the NHL playoffs". Has a nice ring to it.
-Green Day has a new, another whiny liberals crying for 50 minutes with bad guitar playing in the backgroundish album out? What'd I do to deserve this? Kill and eat all sea lions in front of 5 year old children?
-I like how Obama is funny, I really do. I just wish he'd focus on not making people's lives suck while he's in the Oval Office writing one liners. Hell, at least Bill used the O to his advantage.
-Vitamin water, in spite of their prophetic commercials, by the way, is awesome...while anything made by Sobe sucks.
-I've supported Kobe for plenty of years, but I've grown tired of his prissy act. And NBA officals need to get their story straight. When Kobe reminds Shane Battier (as if he cares) that he can't be guarded in the 1st, it's no big deal. When he does it in the 4th of a blowout, it's a tech. Kobe sucks, and the refs do too.
-Rich Rodriguez makes me ill. Offering scholarships to players only CUSA cares about and then telling kids when they commit to "think it over" as if "getting an offer to a school you have no business playing at and getting a degree at a school you probably have no business graduating from" isn't thinking it over is just bush league. He isn't selling snake oil, he's selling lonely men fat women and telling them they're super models.
-I'm really glad everyone hates Tennessee now, so I don't feel so alone anymore and what not.
-Baseball sucks. And so do steroids. What is a big contract really worth? A few more home runs and a few fewer inches off the ole member? I'd rather not have the home runs. No wonder A-(short) Rods wife doesn't want him anymore.
-Colin Cowherd brought up a good point this week about Manny. Maybe we'd have suspected something had he not spent the last 10 years wearing bedsheets to press conferences, home plate, and every appearance he might be seen in public.
-I think I've figured out why people like reality TV. Television sucks so bad now, we realize that it's more fun just watching no talent jack asses making fools of themselves on TV, like we all do when we're drunk at the bar. I get a kick out of a Friday night at the local dive a lot more than watching something atrocious that Tom Cruise is involved in.
-IHop lies on their menus. They say the chocolate pancakes are made with chocolate batter, which is completely untrue. I should sue for false advertising. All I'd want is free pancakes until I pass on to the great beyond where Lloyd Carr is the coach of my football team again.
-Tiger Woods looks like his ship may have sailed. I never, ever, ever ponder calling out Woodsy, but he's been doing his old tricks routinely...up until Sundays on the back 9. That used to be his lethal time. He made a giant rally at the Masters, 1 shot back heading to 11, and then flamed out like that one guy from N'Sync. Then he's in the final group with some guy who I'm pretty sure was one of the main characters in "Perfect Strangers" and is a complete nonfactor. Yeah, something's wrong.
-Speaking of golf, is David Duval still alive? If so, I need some extra money to pay the rent...$50 skins, Dave?
This rant has been brought to you by Spam. Because if it's pink and it stinks, it may as well be dinner.
Category: General
Thanks for nothing, Lions
I don't consider myself to be particularly old. I know the saying goes "you're only as old as you feel" but that's something only old people who know they're old say. Just like only fat, unattractive people use the phrase "beauty is skin deep." I know that this is the first year since I graduated high school 9 Springs ago that I have not been asked to prom, but I chalk that up to my boyish good looks (joke) and the fact that I put shims in my car window to keep it up (not a joke) indicating that I have no real job because I hafta finish school.
There are several things I'd like to have happen before I die, however. I'd like to visit the Holy Land and find more lost Gospels. I'd like to sleep with Kristen Bell. I'd like to be a little better at golf than I was when I got my section card 2 years ago. And among other things, I'd like to see the Lions win. The Detroit Lions. I've not seen such things, which is fine, because my dad was born in '55 and he hasn't either. Where am I going with all of this? With the news that Matt Stafford was just signed to a contract worth more than about 90% of hard ass workers in Detroit make...combined....yearly...I am assured that at least for the foreseeable future, my chances of sleeping with Bell outweigh the Lions shot at winning.
Sorry, Matt. This pick was catastrophically bad. The contract makes it even worse. I just pulled up something on Yahoo!. Where I was born and grew up made the #1 ranking of "most violent area in America" that saw over 1200 violent crimes per 100,000 people. Unemployment in the city I love rises up towards 20%. That's staggering. You go grocery shopping and that means one out of maybe every FIVE people you run into...children included...doesn't have a job. That's disgusting. So is this contract. For this poor hack destined to be out of Detroit in 4 years. So he doesn't care. He gets to leave, rich, title-free (whoa, kinda like in college!), and still in tact.
The fans chanted for Aaron Curry, a defensive game changer that calls to mind someone, anyone who can tackle. Which the Lions need. Today's NFL is about getting to quarterbacks, not simply having one that can throw 80 yards. Martin Mayhew, he of the 0-16 Lions, somehow (on a side note, if I performed my job(s) with such futility, I wouldn't make it past 2 pay checks) had it all lined up for him. A fan base dying to see a pass rusher or an offensive lineman with the #1 pick. Most GMs hafta listen to cries of ignorant fan bases desperate for the new "face of the franchise" which for some reason always has to be a quarterback. Mayhew? Nope. He has a fan base that can't get to work, so apparently they study football. And they learned that if you protect any QB, he looks good. And if you don't, he sucks. So drafting a non-QB would have been met with open arms, the way anyone who ever drafted Tim Couch probably feels.
Quick trivia question. How many non-Senior QBs have ever played in a Pro Bowl? Two. How many have ever been voted in? One. His name? Mike Vick. Vince Young played after Phil Rivers declined to go with an injury. How many QBs have won a Super Bowl when leaving early? ONE. Big Ben. Matt Stafford could be the next, but let's be honest...the guy couldn't even play runner up in his conference at any point in his collegiate career. He completed less than 55% of his passes. In college. Against college DBs. Against teams like Mississippi State, Vanderbilt, and Georgia Southern. And you expect him to magically find that tonic against the Bears and the Vikings?
Give me a break. And normally I say "I get it." And I'm sure I'll get the smartass comments from people saying "they're a GM, you're not" as if that means automatically, I can't possibly know more about football than they. I mean hell, I said Charles Rodgers was a lousy pick. Clearly "they" were right.
It's so easy to play armchair GM. But you know what...it's easier to play Lions GM. Anything you do will be better than last year, so even a colossal screw up means improvement. Nearly every position on the roster save one or two guys probably would be cut from top flite NFL teams. And the fans are willing to accept just for ONCE...just ONCE....taking how they feel into consideration. And they want the safe pick for a change. Nothing sexy. Nothing dramatic. OTs from Baylor. LBs from Wake Forest. That's what they want. They know Dan Orlovsky can throw if you give him 3 minutes to do so, like the Pats and Colts give their guys. They know that's probably enough.
So as of tonight, 78 million gets dropped into Detroit. Thousands upon thousands will go to the unemployment office tomorrow. They will scrape by with whatever they have. The high spirited or recently unemployed will hold out hope, read the want ads, look on Career Builder. The long time losers will move one step closer to selling a bag of dope to pay rent, robbing someone at gun point, or stealing a car. The Lions winning won't make them richer, smarter, or any better looking (as if that's possible in my case....kidding). It won't make them CEOs any more than it will make them DOA. But it'd be a release for a day. But instead, that 78 million won't go to 100,000 new jobs. It will go to one. To a guy who says all the right things because he knows 78 million rely on the outcome. To a guy who loses to Vanderbilt, but apparently is supposed to win a Super Bowl. This fan, for one, won't be making his annual Thanksgiving Day game. It might just be a $100 ticket and some tradition gone down the toilet. But it's better than continually watching a franchise do the same. Thanks for nothing. Again.
Rant. Now.
-There are a lot of things in my life I never thought I'd see myself saying. Somewhere in the top 5 concerns rooting for the Spurs. I am doing that now. Just for one, solitary series. I can't stand Dallas, and the thought of Rick Carlisle having any success makes me ill. That Barea guy is a blowhard too. I look forward to him getting a Tyronn Lue type contract by some ass bag team b/c there's proof that he can defend Tony Parker. Go Spurs. I must go wash my mouth out with bleach.
Regarding Isiah Thomas...
-Isiah gets a bad rap. He wasn't that awful of a coach. Keep him as far as frigging possible away from personnel decisions involving anything money related the way you'd keep Larry Eyler away from your teenage son. But he took a stripped down Pacers team to the playoffs centered around a guy who averaged 3 ppg in his Portland career, and by the way...with a similarly horrid roster (created by Isiah) Mike Dantoni could do no better.
-By the way, how hard up was he to get back into the game? Most jobs where you go into the interview and offer to work your first year for free, they'll get you a uniform and a desk right then and there I assume. Go try it. I like money too much to experiment on this.
-Lastly, great, great hire for FIU. You know kids getting recruited by FIU, La-Monroe, or Akron types will be a tad bit more star struck to see Isiah Thomas sitting on their couch one day as opposed to some old white guy with male pattern baldness.
-While still on the topics of roundball, the NBA playoffs this year is pretty much unwatchable. Any chance it won't be Cavs-Lakers? Nope. And David Stern won't even hafta rig it to get his dream matchup this time around. The Smurfs had more drama.
-Now, if you want sports drama, check out the NHL playoffs. Even if you don't like hockey...and judging by the ratings, you don't...I suggest you take in a game or two. It's unpredictable almost every year, road teams win with regularity, 8 seeded Anaheim beats best in the west San Jose in game 1....and guys are playing with injuries that keep the more pampered pro athletes of the MLB, NBA, and NFL sidelined until it benefits their contract to lace em up.
-Seriously Mehmet Okur, a mild hamstring strain? Two for one Tampax at the locale Walgreens. Stock up.
-Hold on a second. I'm off to find something interesting going on in boxing right now. Actually, by "second" I mean "next year and possibly beyond."
-Wait, I found something...Oscar is gone. Has any boxer...or possibly any athlete been as desperately overhyped as this guy...ever? No career defining wins, and got knocked around silly whenever anyone of substance was in the ring in the other corner. Boxing was so desperate for an American born star that they tried to pass this guy off as some sorta legend. Good riddance. Now maybe he'll have a little more time to do cameos on his questionable niece's reality show.
-I'm sick of Taylor Swift. On a drive to work last week, I heard the same song by her on THREE different radio stations AT THE SAME TIME and then twice on other stations later on. Again, at the same time. The odds of that happening are the same as the world ending by the time I finish this rant. In other words, they aren't good. Of the 14 million songs ever played on the radio THREE stations couldn't find anything else at the same time? Crissakes.
-Played my first round of golf in about a year and a half. It took that long to alleviate the intense burnout from 2007. Only played 9 holes, but shot 2 over with a shot out of bounds. I was stunned. I sure hope golf isn't like sex...in that I hafta wait 500 some days to be good at it again.
-Kudos to Danny Granger. He's the best player in the league you've probably never seen. His passion in the final game against the useless Milwaukee Bucks with nothing on the line for anyone and the major shock being that I could find a network carrying it was a thing of beauty. It means one of three things...
1. Larry sat him down and said "listen, the fans need someone to keep them coming in that they can latch onto, and we need the fans, because we're more broke than Janet Reno naked after being assaulted with a tire iron, so get them into it."
2. Danny realized that he had the next 6 months off, and I'd be damn happy if my job came to me and said "you get 6 months off after today, but don't worry...the checks will still be in the mail."
3. This really is who Danny Granger is, and with a little commitment to defense, he might become a top 5 player in this league. He's a less athletic version of T-Mac with what seems to be a little (and by little, I mean a frigging lot) more passion for the game than McGrady.
-3...2...1...countdown until Florida football fans start overhyping Jeff Brantley as if he'll get one meaningful snap all year.
-Hope you bet on the Reds to win the central. Seriously.
-So much for all that adoration of Ovechkin. Looks like Sydney Crosby will be playing long past the guy everyone wants to keep saying is better.
-Can anyone get me Joe Dumars' phone number? I want to make sure he's not near any high places and all the belts from his home have been removed.
-I couldn't be any less excited about the NFL draft. I won't wish actual ill on anyone, but would it kill anyone to have some pics of Matt Stafford buying liquor for high school (preferably female, and middle school works too) kids to pop up sometime this week? Please? I want to see the Lions win before I die.
-Wait, speaking of buying booze and partying with little kids, who do you think throws a better brouhaha...Marcus Vick or Matt Leinart?
-I read something about Evan Eschmeyer going back to get a law degree. Google aside, does anyone remember e-squared? You need to. There's a great site that could be better with a ton of work called "where are they now" that chronicles Big 10 basketball players from yesteryear that me and my buddies to this day laugh about.
-Yo, Greg Paulus...if you wanted to play in the NFL so damn bad and that was your "dream"...wouldn't it have been a decent idea to play FOOTBALL IN COLLEGE instead of hoops?
-You heard it here first...not a single pro bowl NFL quarterback will come out of this year's draft. Horrible for that position. I'd rather see the Lions pick up Vick. Not Marcus, the decent one.
-How anti climactic was the Masters? Tiger and fat Phil make this run that suggests they were simply playing drunk the first 3 days "just to see if they could do it" and then the back 9 results in scuffling and a bunch of no names that ilicit little interest once again winning a major.
-Also, score one for "pressure." Look at the first day's scores and then the finals. Nutting up at its very finest.
The rant has been brought to you by Bosco. Bring it home for the misses. Even if she doesn't like ice cream.
Category: General
Good riddance, Jim Calhoun
The most exciting part of this NCAA tournament wasn't Siena hitting last second shots, Wisconsin with game winning 3 point plays, or North Carolina making a mockery of the word "competition" more than the BCS does. And with all due respect to arguably the greatest game I ever watched, Nova-Pitt, my favorite part of this tournament came after Michigan State beat UConn and Jim Calhoun didn't know if he'd be back. We should only be so lucky if that's the case.
Maybe he was just crabby after getting the doors blown off him in the 2nd half by Tom Izzo. Maybe he'd run out of warm milk and Centrum Silver. I hope not. Listen to some of the verbal feces that he spilled upon us all after losing to MSU when "hinting at retirement."
Quote 1: "Those kind of things, that's why Dean Smith told me at 67 he got out," Calhoun said, referring to North Carolina's retired Hall of Fame coach. "It wasn't basketball. It was the other things.
Analysis: Comparing himself to Smith isn't as far fetched as it first looks. For all Smith's accomplishments, he had 2 titles, one of which as with Michael Jordan. So basically, he coached himself to 1 title. The part that's funny is him backhandedly blaming the media for the cheating allegations...ones that he said "there may have been mistakes" the week prior. No, Jim, you baffoon, it's not the media's fault you cheated, but it is their fault you got caught red handed. In typical Calhoun fashion, he deflects the blame. I suppose it's better than him cursing about Ryan Gomes again. I'd have paid to be in the room to ask him verbatim..."why didn't you have that agent talk to Gomes?"
Quote 2: Calhoun said the NCAA has asked him not to speak about the facts of the case and when he said he had a "gag order," he was reprimanded.
"I probably shouldn't be expressing it, but that's just who I am," Calhoun said, answering why he would think about leaving despite his love of the game and his players. "I couldn't be more disappointed in people who just jump on and make two people all of a sudden become the expert on who Jim Calhoun is.
Analysis: Him speaking in the third person laughably aside, here is more of Jim playing the martyr. "Woe is me, the NCAA doesn't want me to defend myself, but I'm such a man of integrity that I take all issues head on...in the third person." Again, give me a break. Show me how much Calhoun has done for anyone individually other than 6'5 and up man children who can raise his own profile and salary. Or 8 foot kids from Africa whom he snakes over here with a wink hush deal to go to UConn.
There are a few other things, about personal reflection and how "you'd feel this way too if you were me" type of crap, but the truth is, I wouldn't. Nor would most people. Most people know when they cheat at anything...scrabble, relationships, or darts...if you get caught, you're beligerant, pissed, or just accepting of the fact that you weren't good enough to not get caught. Calhoun on the other hand blames everyone else for his misdoings or the misdoings of his program.
In the coming weeks, expect something about how he didn't know it was going on, how he kicked off Miles because again, Jim Calhoun has integrity (tongue in cheek), and how he loves coaching and the kids but not the media...because God forbid he get called out on all his lies by someone. How anyone gets 5 star future millionaires to spend any shred of time in Storrs, CT should be investigated to begin with. But how dumb really is Calhoun. Because that's how he makes it seem. Makes it seem like his program does things independent of him...which either means that he sucks at his job, or again, he's lying to deflect reprocussions. There are a million NCAA rules. He's paid way too much money to know them. Of course, he "earns" it. Just ask him.
Rule 1 is "don't give money or gifts to recruits." Rule 1A is "no player agents involved with college athletes." Those are the two cardinal rules of recruiting. And he just happens to not be able to explain why one of them is being investigated under his program? Make no mistake, this is worse than what Kelvin Sampson did with IU last year. Ten times worse. Sampson was calling people too much (and staff). He didn't have Tom Coverdale (pretend Tom Coverdale is a player agent and not a coach for ULM) calling up recruits helping them into his program. UConn should be put on probation 30 seconds after this comes out. No appeal, no whining, nothing. Calhoun will retire and blame everyone else, since that's his schtick. He won't hafta deal with it. Because that's who he is.
The only hope is that it happens this offseason. Sorry Jim, can't just "F-bomb" your way through this one, mr. Integrity.
Category: NCAAF
Tags: Jim Calhoun
Way too early BCS Prognosticating
There's no time like the present to talk about stuff that won't be happening for a good 9 months or so. With the tournament died down, the Pacers once again squeezed out of a once again to be rigged NBA playoffs (seriously, is there anyone that doesn't think it will be Cavs-Lakers? David Stern knows it will be), and then there's baseball...which resembles some MTV reality show about cheating. So basically, there's nothing til the draft of the NFL and then nothing til Summer workouts lead to underage DUIs and injuries to talk of. But as it stands right now, at 330 Eastern...these are your BCS participants for 2010.
BCS Title Game: Florida vs Texas
Florida won't lose in the regular season. Let's just end that now. The only possible pitfall seems to be @ LSU. Florida talks about going unbeaten. They want to go unbeaten. And they will go unbeaten into the title game. No team understands goals like the Gators. They still seem hungry and motivated. I'm hungry, but seldom motivated to even cook toast. That's the difference between Florida and most other teams. The big secret though is that outside of LSU and Alabama again, the SEC won't be that great, thus paving the way for an unbeaten campaign. And they will play Texas, who bought themselves another schedule softer than silk panties OOC. Beating Oklahoma this year will actually turn out to matter, and beating OSU might end up being harder. Of the teams not named "Florida" the Horns return the most pivitol guys to a title run as opposed to their losses. Colt McCoy didn't come back to play in the Fiesta Bowl again, though I hear he does make mean nachos.
Rose Bowl: Southern Cal vs Illinois
Illinois has the WIERDEST schedule in the nation, hands down. The Big 10 schedule gods hate them, as they open with OSU and PSU and then get the next 7 weeks to take off the sandals, undies, and kick the hell back on a winning streak. Until the last 2 weeks. When they inexplicably run into Fresno and Cincinnati? What? Yeah, that. Illy is a surprise team for me. Zook's top 10 class is now in its 3rd year and Juice Williams will be a senior. Whether or not he's figured out that tricky formula called "accuracy" remains to be seen. SC on the other hand loses a ton of guys, which I'm sure will amount to one surprising loss and bludgeoning of everyone else. They're probably thankful that there are no trips to Corvallis on the docket. It's always easier when the Beaver comes to your place and then leaves right after it's over on a bus waiting outside your pad.
Fiesta Bowl: Ohio State vs Oklahoma
That's right, kids. Someone has to win this BCS game. They can't both lose. The Fiesta gets first dibs, and unless Okie State shocks the world as I kinda expect they might in the Bedlam game, it will a battle of wits between two teams that in January, have a tough time unclogging throats. Kinda like Courtney Love. Oklahoma is a big name though, and big names mean free BCS passes.
Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech vs Boise State
The OB is normally the BO of matchups. And the Orange is in the unenviable position of having to deal with Cincy winning the Big Easy again and VT winning the ACC...again. So they opt for Boise, the only mid major with a great looking shot at a BCS bid unless BYU does something amazing. Is Ben Olsen still around or is he 35 yet?
Sugar bowl: LSU vs Cincy
LSU loses to UF, beats Bama, but loses out on the SEC title game...to Bama...who loses out on the Sugar bowl. And thus, LSU gets another home game against Cincy. Who secures the 2nd mid major bid in 2010 (tee hee hee). Cincy looks prepared to carry the banner in that outfit. This isn't really a sexy looking game, but by now I've stopped pretending that the BCS is worried about good looking contests. Maybe it'll turn out to be good. Maybe it won't. Maybe Les Miles will lose and go be the OC in Ann Arbor.
Category: NCAAF
Stern's Latest Mindscrew is pure Brilliance
This will likely be the first time on record, or off, based on what you consider message board useless blogs to be...that I compliment David Stern. I thought I'd sooner see either the end of the world or another Boys II Men tour than actually back up the man who has brought us such idiotic thoughts such as "the end of the Pacers," refs fixing playoff games, NBA 2015...Portland @ Moscow, and "Latin Night" featuring free blow up knives and 1/2 off all Coke products for the first 10,000 fans. But his latest idea is so revolutionary and insane, not only could it work, it should work.
Earlier this week in some interview with some boob that isn't myself, Stern talked about the wacky new playoff format in the D-League. Specifically, the format that allows division champs to pick their first round opponent. That's right, kids, the power of choice for winning. I don't care if you hate the NBA and all it emblazons. This idea is at least worth thinking about. Insert your fav league here and imagine the possibilities. Think of Bill Belichick and the Pats calling out perennial playoff choke job Indy and saying "come here, first round. It's snowing this weekend, so bring your thermal undies." Or just as juicy, imagine the plot lines leading up to the MLB playoffs, where Big Stein, fresh off another scotch, rants to the media "The Red Sox won't choose us because they wear flowered panties." And then it's Boston's serve.
Only Stern is nutty enough to come up with this. And if you think it's just pot stirring (no, not that kinda pot, Josh Howard), he says he's putting it in the D-League to study it, whence forth the NBA competition committee (read: the easiest job in the world) will discuss its possible impact on an NBA playoff. Granted, this probably doesn't work in the NFL or MLB, but it's a revolutionary thought to say the least. One that would assuredly change playoff formats forever. Though I love NBA hoops, the dog days of it are as stale as those in the MLB, NHL, golf after the PGA, and week 10 and after battles betwixt the Browns and the Texans.
This not only would keep things fresh, it would be on a totally different level. The jawing of "will you guys have the sack to face us in the playoffs?" from Stephen Jackson to whomever will listen would be epic. And imagine the would be #8 seed that gets passed over as an opponent for someone with a better record? How's that for motivation?
Will it ever happen? I don't know. Stern talks out of his backside a lot for a guy with the kind of power to make everything he says "not talking out his backside." His NBA Euro idea is insane, especially in an economy as we're in now. It'd be less insane if he were talking about a separate NBA league in Europe...think NFL Europe, only they actually care about basketball across the Atlantic...but he's talking about having them in say, the Eastern Conference. Far eastern conference, apparently.
Sports needs a solid kick in the junk like this. It's cool that everyone will remember Villanova vs Pitt as thee defining game, but thank God it happened, because up until then it was a certifiable snorefest compared to most years. Let's not go into the BCS. And playoffs in general have some sort of complaint surrounding them. Too long. Too short. Not based on records. Not based on anything. This would be not only a way to infuse the NBA, but pro sport as a whole. Much like telling a woman she makes good points in an argument, I never, ever thought I'd be saying this, but David Stern is onto something.
Crap I learned this weekend from The Dance
-Rebounding in West Virginia is treated like eating week old road kill in most states. Technically, it's optional whether or not you want to do it, but you don't see it happening. Ever.
-I owe Rick Majerus more credit for his time with Utah. They used to single handedly keep me in brackets when some of my friends were asking me if "Utah was a private school in some East Coast state." Clearly, they are no good. I have since moved onto more intelligent friends. Those guys went on to root for the Buckeyes.
-By the way, speaking of, Michigan won more tournament games than OSU did. Nee ner.
-I also learned why SEC fans love football so much. They have nothing else to hang their hat on. I should be nicer. I really thought LSU could have made a run, but unfortunately, North Carolina basically @ home appeared on their schedule.
-I also know the committee was worried about seat filling, so they put sexy teams in close regions, but making Kansas play @ NDSU for all intensive purposes? Oh hell, I was still rooting for the ONLY D1A team that has a roster with 13 white guys on it.
-Wouldn't it make more sense if "Siena" actually had the color as part of their uniform scheme? Same brilliant guy who decided the Browns would have orange helmets must've been working on that tailoring mindscrew.
-Cal-State Northridge needs a revamping of their cheerleading program. Girls in Cali should be hotter. And are at most other schools. What was with that heffer CBS desperately kept trying to block out but she kept oozing back in? Anyone else see this?
-Speaking of cheerleaders, Villanova surprised me a bit in a good way, and Texas still is Texas, and I wish they were still in the tournament.
-The ACC once again is the paper tiger conference. After Vitale finishes wiping his ACC drip off of his bottom lip, it would be time for him to swallow and admit the truth. In March, it's a 2 team outfit...and mostly b/c Duke and NC get the added bonus of playing every single first weekend in their home state.
-Washington/Purdue officials were atrocious. I thought someone would get a personal called on them for breathing too hard during a timeout.
-Memphis hears the nasty things I say about them when they eek out unimpressive wins, I think.
-Some games had a high school feel to them. In that I was amazed at how often or to what degree a 3/4 or full press seemed to work. And not just late in games when you know having to think the ball across the mid line for a change takes its toll...it was working on seasoned teams like UCLA in the beginning. Best comeback since Skynard.
-Every time I hear someone gush about how classy Jim Calhoun is, I can't help but pop his Ryan Gomes "classy" diatribe on YouTube up just to make sure they're pretending to talk about the same guy as I am.
-Well, we finally found something a Big 10 team can beat Southern Cal at. Izzo's teams always seem tough in the tournament. As sure as Mateen Cleaves still hasn't figured out how to hit a 3 point jumper.
-On the subject of Blake Griffin, I will say he's a great player with the ability to be a very good professional. He reminds of a much more fleet afoot Danny Fortson. And any kid I was educating on the game of basketball I would suggest he watch a little of Blake...but I'd promptly turn the TV set off after the play. The guy is an incredible self serving hot dog. One more comment from stupid announcers about how he's a "team guy" and I'm gonna write to CBS and suggest they stop hiring the blind, just to be nice. Glaring up at the heavens after put back layups? Or muscle flexing after knocking over gnome like Zack Novak? Give me a break. Just b/c he says he's a team guy doesn't make it the case. Just because Paris Hilton says she hates coke and sex doesn't make it true.
-Guys who really helped their NBA stock...Ben Woodside and Kenneth Faried. Guys who didnt...anyone on BYU and Darren Collison.
-Are Alex Ruoff and "that other big guy that looks just like him" back from their white power seminars yet? I'd like to ask them why they didn't realize driving into the paint was allowed until 5 minutes were left in the game...
-Gus Johnson is frigging amazing. When Friday hit and I turned on the TV (after setting my alarm to make sure I was up for noon) and heard him, that instantly made my day. Sick, I know. But Johnson is THEE basketball announcer for March.
-Ditto for Bill Raftery, who takes 2nd only b/c Johnson is so cool. His call of "Onions!" when random short Siena guy hit another 3 will forever be remembered. Until I get Alzheimer's at least.
-Still the best two days in sports, I look forward to next year, where again, I will take off whatever job I'm doing to sit in front of the TV for 12 straight hours. Reminded me why, when people asked me as a kid what I wanted to do when I grew up, I said "play college basketball, and if I die the day after my last game, I will have died a happy person." I played, but I didn't die the day after. I remain fairly happy. In retrospect though, I probably should have chosen a backup plan for something to do until said croaking happens just in case I lived through the ensuing years.
Category: NCAAB
Might be time to give Vick a second chance
Maybe it's because I'm going to church Saturday night instead of the customary time of Sunday, or maybe it's just because I hate PETA, but there are no maybes about my feeling that Mike Vick needs to be in an NFL uniform next year. Now, I'm not saying that you hand the reigns over to a guy that couldn't sling rock with any accuracy before his showers were being shared with convicts instead of Falcons. Though God knows there are a few other prospective starting QBs that can't do it either. I mean seriously, Luke McCown is starting again?
If I'm a GM of say...the Bears? Why not? Their offense is as fearsome as Barbara Walters is sexy. And while they don't normally ache for publicity, you know all eyes...and a few extra TV slots will be on them with once "the man to change the NFL" Mike Vick taking snaps or running end arounds. The Bears are just an example. You can pretty much peg any team with a predictable offense that gets no national attention as a fairly decent place to start with Vick. Are you listening, St. Louis Rams? Plus, if he doesn't work out, what's the financial loss? Vick should be happy just to get minimum wage. With his history, he isn't exactly in line for a VP job at Exxon-Mobil. And all of that "I'm a quarterback" crap he used to throw down our throats probably won't matter much to him. He likely just wants a gig any way he can get it. But aside from being a soul-devoid marketing guru/GM, Vick deserves another chance anyways. After all, he is a human being.
I know if I had any actual reader following, I could expect hate mail or picket signs from people eating tofu outside my house tomorrow, but I don't, and thus I will have no reason to start putting mines in my front yard this evening. Vick messed up, but the same people who want to ostrisize him from the NFL for good are the same ones looking the other way when Pac Man Jones shoots up another strip joint or Ray Lewis lawyers himself out of a 2nd degree murder case. Now, Lewis some 8 years later is being called "the best leader in the NFL" and "a great locker room guy." Fine, I get it. But let's not give 50 chances to someone else and then say Vick should be banished.
The truth is, the world isn't set up for people like Vick to succeed. If you've known anyone who's been in prison or jail, you probably can attest to the issues they may have had upon leaving the confines of concrete walls and metal window frames with no actual windows. These people do their time and then are cast out into a world where they can't get a job serving tables as the pre-employment questionaire forces them to either lie and hope no one checks it out, or be honest and go looking elsewhere for an employer who doesn't care. Then, we all sit around saying "they shouldn't let these animals out, because they just do it again" when, unable to find a job, drug dealers go back to selling drugs, thieves hit up another gas station, etc. It's easy to cast off someone without actually thinking about the chance they never got. Sure, some just want to peddle dope and run from the system again. Some get caught up as soon as they get let out. But some truly want to change. Maybe Vick is that guy. Maybe he isn't. Maybe behind bars didn't quench his thirst for the fast life or the wrong posse. But we won't know unless someone gives him the opportunity.
What Vick did was horrific. When the details come out, it makes you see his crime the way you suddenly see a homicide after watching "The First 48." The more you know, the more gruesome something that seemed passe beforehand looks. Vick was wrong, and he did horrible things. As horrible as the prospect of one of Pac Man's bullets hitting a woman or innocent bystander? That's your debate, not mine. But let's give Vick a chance to prove he was wrong, sorry, and remorseful before casting him out as an eternal bad seed. Right before we put on our Dante Stallworth, Ray Lewis, or Leonard Little jersey and go pull for the team we love. Check your double standards at the door. You know, right before you tell your wife you don't want her going out drinking with the girls as you leave with your buddies for another night of what she assumes is Texas Hold Em and you know is "Pervert Row" at the Red Garter.
Category: NFL
Stuff I claim to know about the NCAA tourney
-UConn won't win and I think will be the first #1 seed bounced. Their path isn't devastating really. Purdue is good, but they have major injury issues. But UConn is fools gold. They're missing one of their top 3-4 players and not a damn one of them can shoot outside. Teams that can't shoot don't win.
-Sorry Lee, Louisville won't win either. I wish I could have had that avoidance thing down pat like Pitino was when I was coaching, instead of running into good teams all the time.
-Michigan State again will be a bitch to get rid of. If they make it to Detroit, they could win the title. Izzo's teams, whether the Big 10 is good or bad, always find a way to cause trouble. Like Lindsey Lohan, only significantly less hot.
-Stop looking for the next George Mason. It won't happen again for another 20 years.
-If you are looking for upset victims, pay attention to time changes. FUCLA playing in Philly effects them a shat ton more than VCU....hint, hint
-Shawn Taggert is ugly. I mean BADLY.
-West Virginia could surprise all the way to the final 4. There was a time when Huggins was a decent tournament coach. That time seems to have passed. Or has it?
-Teams with great guard play almost always win in the tournament. So look for guards who can shoot the (poop) outta the ball.
-Why are A&M and BYU playing again? Crissakes, liven it up.
-Disrespected teams come out and play hard normally, so keep an eye on your Utah States or your Utahs or any other team that begins with the letter U but does not stand for University.
-Duke always wins in Greensboro. They ain't good, but they don't need to be until the 2nd weekend. Don't think you're onto something by bouncing them early. You're not.
-Oklahoma might get gassed by the first weekend. Concussions have really wierd effects on athletes. I've gotten them. If Michigan is hot and in the 2nd round, my homer goggles tell me they could knock OK off with that quirky as all get out defense they play.
-Big men don't get to being as important til the 2nd and 3rd weekends when teams have several possible NBA guys on their roster..or @ least training camp guys. So don't go thinking that little BUFU State with 55 guys who shoot 3s care about Hasheem Thabeet. They don't. Unless he's playing the 1 on defense.
-Teams that play funky styles often cause matchup issues. Like Wisconsin, Michigan, Utah, Memphis, etc. If you're not used to seeing it, it's a problem
-Don't over homer one conference. For every team that uses a tough schedule to get battle tested, there are some that are just wiped out.
-North Carolina got really screwed in their bracket. While weaker teams at high seeds go pretty much un touched by decent opponents til the final 4, NC has possible matchups with Gonzaga, Oklahoma, and a few other SOB's I can't remember right now.
-Teams that play good zone defenses usually cause problems and mischief. If you're not used to seeing a disciplined zone, it can be a pain in the arse to navigate. See: Syracuse, Temple under John Chaney, and apparetly Baylor in the Big 12 tournament for examples.
-Damn, I can barely wait til tomorrow. <!-- google_ad_section_end -->
Category: NCAAB
Marvin's leaving Indy another Black Eye for NFL
Bear with me, as I may be jumping the gun here with the Marvin Harrison information. It appears he's gone. My misfortune of knowing people who deal with the Colts as a profession makes me pretty sure that at some point, this will be made final by people who do such things. Likely Thursday, even though at this point, it's a done deal. May as well put off the backlash for three days and load up on scotch if you're Bill Polian.
So once again, another NFL offseason is upon us and another Spring/Summer of teams gutting staples of the community and franchise to save the almighty buck. Wins be damned. Now, Harrison has declined since his injury. He made a career out of avoiding tackles enough to never miss a game with anything serious, but finally got caught like a wife who sleeps around on her hubby when he's outta town on work, only to have him come home early one day with a bottle of wine, a roofie, and some Kenny G. Since that injury, Marvo has seen others pick up in his stead. Passes go first to Reggie Wayne, 2nd to Dallas Clark, and 3rd to apparently his successor...a loose term in this situation...Anthony "when's the next animal sacrifice to Satan?" Gonzales. Despite the company line that Jim Caldwell tossed out there (which shows that you can toss "believing him" right out the door) about how Harrison "hasn't lost a step in any way," he has. He's slower out of breaks. Looks like sometimes he thinks about getting hurt again. And he's not downfield running by his lonesome anymore. Proof that it really WAS Harrison getting that open.
Still, this is what sometimes makes it hard to really be a big NFL fan. If being a Lions backer isn't enough, that is. (side note: At Church yesterday, I was compelled to tell the Lions player that goes there that I'm sorry they didn't release him...even though that means unemployment.) Last year, it was Green Bay saying "eh, we don't need playoffs, we need Aaron Rodgers in there, so we can have the radio guy call him "A-Rod" as if that's not already taken. Oh, and we can save money/have more youth!" to franchise icon Brett Favre. A messier divorce I can't really ever imagine in sports. Especially when you figured out that Farve was 10 times better than Rodgers by about September.
The NFL GMs are gutless people. Harrison has been a great guy for the city and the franchise. Before Marvin Harrison got there, Indy was a wasteland. He was a pro bowl player before his balleyhood QB got there. His jersey is popular. He's never thrown anyone under the bus. In the rare event that he speaks to the media, he does it with class. And he's generally an all around nice dude.
But Bill "I know everything about all things and you be damned if you question that" Polian will sell this snake oil to everyone on Thursday about how it's a cap move, nevermind the fact that they just paid some guy named Kelvin Hayden 43 million dollars. Never mind that they've gassed out massive contracts over the past several seasons to Harrison, Wayne, Manning, Bob "half season" Sanders, Freeney, Mathis, and probably someone else I can't think of off the top of my head. Nevermind half the reason the Colts can't get over the hump is b/c they have 90% of their payroll into 12% of their roster. He will sell it because that's what GMs do. Soul-less people who will try to convince Colts fans that Anthony Gonzales is the answer. He might get better, but you can rest assured that when his time comes to get paid, either he'll get his or they'll be selling Aaron Moorhead to the fans again.
Polian remarked that "for the first time in 11 years, the salary cap is effecting us." Which is also the first time in 11 years I've heard him make a veiled comment that he might not actually be God, because surely the Almighty could alter the salary cap how he wants. Marvin Harrison will be somewhere else. Like Farve. Like LT. Like just about everyone will at some point in their careers. The NFL will not care. They'll just sell someone else and toss guys who've made the league watchable for over a decade to the curb. The oft fanticized vision of guys saying "I want to start and finish my career here" is nothing more than fairy tale BS. Maybe the guy really does. His league won't let him. In a spineless, gutless meat grinder of a league, you can only wonder who's next. Or when it's to be Brady. Or Manning. Or Jon Kitna. (tee hee hee) It really is too bad. Harrison is one of those guys that probably deserved better. Here's to hoping he finds it. In New England, just for kicks.
ESPN Wrong to Suspend Van Pelt
It's easy and we do it all the time. Blast network lackeys for stupid opinions regarding stuff they think about stuff we argue about during our lunch breaks at work. Most of the time, we call them idiots if for no other reason than because they get paid a handsome income to do something that we all do for free because basically...it's that easy to talk sports. The truth is, most sports talk personalities do honestly suck. So now I don't sound much different than anyone else, right? Maybe. But there are some good ones. The problem is where the line is apparently drawn between getting paid to have an opinion that elicits conversation among listeners/viewers (ie: brings in money) and having that opinion be held back only when it's suitable for whoever is cutting the checks.
So take Scott Van Pelt. On his radio show last week, one of ESPNs higher draws nationally...Scott alluded to Bud Selig's 18 million a year as causing him to "choke on his vomit." Then he went on about how Bud keeps plastic on his chairs and dresses like, essentially, a disinterested bum. He wasn't done though. Not without insinuating that Selig was a "pimp who drinks from a chalice." Cut to commercial. Whether you agree with SVP or not doesn't bother me. Yes, it is "pimpish" to turn a blind eye to PED's when the sport is in desperate need of some long ball influx to put fannies in the seats and then bite the hand that feeds when the game makes it back and label all those who used PEDs as cheaters. So I can see why Selig is a pimp. Cares not for others, just so long as he's getting his cut.
Thus, nevermind if Scott is right. What ESPN has done in lue of his comments is wrong. Look, Jim Rome has made a living flaming athletes on ESPN, to the benefit of both parties. After Rome, ESPN pops off an hours worth of shows daily (Around the Horn, PTI) where more "journalists" who've not seen game action since some Jayvee tick as a senior blast athletes, GMs, coaches, and whomever the topic may suit. In essence, it's okay to have an opinion...and we PREFER it be something outlandish that gets response...just so long as it doesn't crinkle the panties of someone pumping coin into the machine. The machine being ESPN. So if it was the commish of the Big 10, NHL, or hell, maybe even Roger Goodell, it's okay. But as long as Bud Selig's signing those checks...freedom of speech goes right out the window I guess.
By now, I should get that freedom of speech only applies if you're some sort of minority group and/or someone funding your superiors. I just wish that in the Bill of Rights, they'd have included something about that. Van Pelt's biggest flaw is that he basically acknowledged how everyone else feels. Probably some MLB players to boot. And on top of that, I don't see ESPN suspending anyone for the countless insults hurled at guys like Terrell Owens, Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, or others in the same demographic. ESPN has made itself a powerhouse based on sensationalism and outlandish commentary. Now they want to throw one of their own under the bus for doing just that...because it offends someone paying the bills? I get it. I guess it's a money thing. Whatever Selig pumps into ESPN probably is more than what SVP gets paid in 10 years. But are they really worried about losing baseball? A sport that continues to get more and more overlooked as countless allegiations of cheating come to the forefront? Bud Selig needs ESPN more than ESPN needs him. Otherwise, no one's taking up prime time TV slots with Red Sox and Yankees games.
Anyways, rarely do I take the side of a talking head in these issues. The truth isn't because like everyone else, I sit around the water cooler arguing the same things and they get paid. It's more because most of the time, it's obvious these guys do what they do because they weren't good enough to play sports to begin with. I don't know Van Pelt's background, and I don't care. As ESPN types go, he's honest and (compared to most of their stiffs) excessively entertaining. I wouldn't think a backhanded compliment like pimp (look, I can't tell you how many times I'd run back after hitting a shot and hear from a teammate "nice shot, pimp!") which in today's society is akin to a term of endearment...would garner a suspension. Hell, look at Selig. Suggesting he can be compared to men who make their living ordering women around only to have them give him all of their money is something I don't expect Bud to be getting again anytime soon. I would just like these networks, so hypersensitive on creating opinion that gets subscriptions, listeners, responses, etc to be consistent. Don't be like the rest of society, ESPN. Where you hafta belong to a certain group to voice your opinion. Free Scott Van Pelt, pimp.
Category: General
